I gained weight at my last weigh-in. I keep fluctuating at right around the same weight. I don’t get it. I’ve been exercising like mad every day and I’m down to consuming nothing but fruits and vegetables and lots of water. What am I doing wrong?! It’s getting really discouraging not seeing results.
Slept through my alarm. It was horrifying. Instead of going to the gym before work, I had to call work and leave a voicemail saying I’d be late ‘cause I somehow didn’t hear my alarm at all. That never happens.
Had dark red kidney beans for breakfast ‘cause they’ll keep me full with protein since I wasn’t gonna make it to the gym or even into the shower. Before I left work I chowed down on some crackers and raisins and finally got to the gym. Did 45 minutes on the elliptical, eight minutes at a higher level on the bike, then relaxed in the sauna. Did laundry, then went out on a date.
Oh shit. We went to my favorite bar. He bought me drinks. Two Jamesons and three or four beers later, I’m buzzed as fuck, but I can’t even begin to calculate the calories. Shit. We made out on the way back to my place from the bar and he was so sweet and I told him I couldn’t let him into my apartment on the first date so he kissed me goodnight and made sure I got in okay and here I am and…
I miss my ex. Starting over hurts, no matter how exciting the new guy may be. I miss him so, so much.
Idk. Fuck.
If I had been skinny he wouldn’t have left me for her and I wouldn’t be dealing with any of this. I hate myself for it. Idk idk idk.
Halloween is coming up. I wish I had the kind of body where I could use Halloween as an excuse to show off in a slutty costume… Halloween goal weight: 160?
